2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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