are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
