She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
