Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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