At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
