He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
