Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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