oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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