ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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