I'm drive I can fine osifer
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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