I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This baby is an asshole
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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