As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Come on in and take your pants off
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