so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
