Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
