Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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