did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
