So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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