Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Randomize
