I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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