Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
