I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize