I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize