O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
