There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
someone owes me an orgasm
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
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I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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