i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
