Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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