when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
