SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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