Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
