i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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