im about as happy as oj after his trial
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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