She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
