I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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