one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
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We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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