this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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