just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize