FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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