Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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