and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
