i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
