So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
