Need sex. Gaining weight.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I love you.
Bad choice
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