Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize