who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
