I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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