Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
