Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
