she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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