Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
