dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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