I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
