Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
