so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
im having a threesome with these popsicles
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You took a bar mat shot.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
