Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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