All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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