I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize