bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
