You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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