you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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