Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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