No awkward lesbian experiences without me
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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