Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
