one might say we're banned from that church
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
